The Space Between

Alright, we've talked about Peace, we've talked about Music, so it must be time to talk about The Space Between.  Just what do I mean by The Space Between?  Working in the area of mediation involves a lot of understanding how people relate to each other.  I have come to believe that by building my understanding of how we relate to music, I can better understand how people relate to each other and therefore be more effective as a mediator.  I see there being a connection between music and mediation, and "he Space Between is my label to describe that connection.  I wanted to tell the story of when I first recognized the connection, my apple falling from the tree moment if you will.

It stemmed from one of those times when my wife and I got, shall we say, a bit cranky with each other.  I have absolutely no idea what the subject matter of our crankiness was, but I can distinctly recall the pattern of escalation that was involved.  At some point in the conversation, I felt tension from my wife, and I tensed up.  She felt my tension and hers increased.  I felt her tension increase, and increased mine even further.  Back and forth we went getting more and more stressed, and more and more cranky.  At some point there's this kind of mutual recognition of the absurdity of what we're doing and we allow ourselves to relax and then each of us feels the other relax, and relaxes further and so on and so forth until we're no longer cranky.

In going over what had happened in my head, I was struck by how I could actually feel when my wife tensed and when she relaxed, I mean physically feel it.  Looking at how my responses generated further response from her I concluded that she could also feel the tension and relaxation from me.  It reminded me of what can happen when you pluck a guitar string.  The way a guitar produces music has to do with the vibration of the string.  When you pluck a guitar string, it vibrates in a standing wave pattern at a frequency that is determined by the length of the string.  By placing fingers on the string at different places along the guitar's fretboard the player changes the length of the string.  Different string lengths equal different frequencies and specific frequencies equal certain notes.  For example, middle C (the C note in the middle of a standard size piano keyboard) vibrates at a frequency of about 261.626 Hz.

When one guitar string is plucked, the strings next to it can also start vibrating due to sympathetic vibration.  I think this is in essence what was going on between my wife and I.  I started to feel her vibrating at a certain frequency, which caused me to do the same, which further altered the frequency of her vibration and so on and so forth.  Think about it, when you try and describe how a certain person makes you feel, you talk about the "vibe" you get off of them.  Now think about this, is there a person in your life who literally makes you smile when you see them?  What about someone who can put your stomach in knots just by walking into a room?  Do you feel those reactions physically?  Why is that?

Let's get back to music.  It's said that certain combinations of notes played together are happy sounding while other combinations sound sad.  The difference between those note combinations is the frequency patterns they produce when they are played together.  So, we're already very familiar (even if we didn't realize it) with the idea that different frequency patterns affect emotional response.  Take it another step, is there a song that compels you to move somehow, even if it's just to chair dance?  See, you're familiar with the idea of different frequencies producing different physical responses as well.

Relating these ideas back to human interaction, it seems logical to conclude that the "vibrations" we talk about getting off of other people are literally wave patterns that they are producing.  The waves are hitting us and are some how processed in our brains to trigger certain physical and emotional responses the same way that our brains process the waves that make up music and trigger certain emotional and physical responses.  Of course, the gate swings both ways and that means that things I learn about being an effective mediator can also help me be a better musician, so bonus!