Right to be Wrong

The other night I was practicing my bass.  I was working on playing lines where I would need to move my hand along the fretboard as opposed to lines that involved my left hand staying in one place.  One of the goals was to be aware enough of the neck of the bass that I didn't need to look to make sure I landed in the right spot when I moved my hand.  Things were going along pretty well when at one point I went one fret too far with my fingers and landed on a wrong note, a note that was out of key for the chords I was playing over.

When I hit that wrong note I was able to move back to the right notes without too much difficulty.  It didn't sound great though and it would probably have been apparent to anyone listening that I had made a mistake.  Something inside told me that there was opportunity in that mistake.  I needed to make it again, fearlessly and I could do so because it wouldn't sneak up on me, I would  know it was coming.  I needed to embrace the wrongness of the note.  So I did, I consciously made the same mistake - without looking, I might add - and just let that note ring.  I listened to how it sounded.  I noticed that while it was definitely uncomfortable, it was also compelling.  It was like I was caught in a tractor beam.  I applied some rhythm to that note and allowed myself to listen to its wrongness comfortably, and that meant I could react to the wrong note, not from a position of fear, but from a musical position.  I could think about how to comfortably, musically get back to right notes.

I then explored some different ways to move from the "wrong note" back to the "right notes".  I listened to how that sounded as well and it was soothing.  As much tension had existed while the wrong note was ringing, there was that much relief when I was back on right notes.  It occurred to me as a musician that an audience will have a lot of room to forgive, perhaps even appreciate those "wrong" notes as long as you take them back to a comfortable place in the end.  Play fearlessly - mistakes will occur - but it's not about mistakes happening, it's about how you react to mistakes.

The mediator's equivalent to a musician's notes are his words.  Just as a musician has to deal with the inevitability of playing a wrong note, a mediator has to deal with the fact that he will inevitably choose some words that will rub one of the participants in mediation the wrong way.  Such situations certainly have the potential to completely derail the proceedings, so it is essential that the mediator be comfortable once they hit a "wrong note".  They must have the ability to lead the conversation back on track in a graceful manner to allow things to keep moving forward.

Having this ability carries with it another important benefit.  If one knows how to comfortably recover from a mistake, then there is no need to fear making a mistake.  Just as the best musicians are able to play without fear, so must the best mediators be able to do so without fear.  If one strives to mediate fearlessly then they will have the best opportunity to reach their full potential.  So launch away into your mediations with abandon and without fear.  Will you hit a "wrong note"?  More than likely yes, but you won't be worried about that.  Like any great jazz musician, you will know how to play the "wrong notes" right!

The title of today's post is the name of a song by Joss Stone.